SEDALIA — An often overlooked thought after a diagnosis of dementia or Alzheimer’s is the pre-planning for family members and caretakers. One Sedalia woman knows this firsthand.
Monica Thacker, a committee member of the Alzheimer’s Association of Greater Missouri Chapter, found this true when her father, David Berryhill, 84, of Galena, became ill. Thacker has walked with a West Central Association of Realtors team for three years in the annual Walk to End Alzheimer’s. She said on Thursday, Aug. 31, that her father has vascular dementia and Parkinson’s Disease, which fall under the umbrella of Alzheimer’s. When he was diagnosed, the family was unprepared for the diagnosis.
Thacker, the association executive at WCAR, said the board does many community outreach projects, and the Alzheimer’s Walk is her project.
“This is important to me,” she noted. “We also give to Boys and Girls Club, American Heart (Association) and others.”
She added her dad’s illness has been very prominent for a year.
“My dad preached right up until July 4 of last year,” Thacker said. “That was his last Sunday, and from there, everything just went downhill — things went downhill fast.”
Thacker’s mom, Betty, became her husband’s caregiver as he became progressively ill.
“I’m thinking it was like Sundowner’s, he wasn’t sleeping, he was agitated,” she explained. “And it was just really bad.
“So, we started looking into things like nursing homes, Medicaid, getting mom some help at home,” she continued. “And come to find out, when they had their trust written up years before, the lawyer didn’t put the house in the trust.”
This omission was unsettling to the family.
“Medicaid has a five-year lookback,” Thacker said. “So, if dad did end up in a nursing home, and they had to use Medicaid, and mom sold the home, Medicaid would look back … and they could take that money.”
She added the family knew nothing about how Medicaid worked or that the trust wasn’t in order. What was startling for her was when her father was diagnosed, the medical team never directed them to caregiving or financial resources that could help. They felt lost.
“You go into immediate denial,” she noted. “And then you’re like, he’s old. Is it really dementia or is he just forgetting things? And you don’t act, and then when you do, it’s too late.”
Thacker added the Alzheimer’s Association has so much to offer for both caregivers and patients. For caregivers who believe they need to do it all, Thacker noted the Association is there to help in many ways, relieving stress.
“They help you plan for your future,” she said of the Association. “They help you with finding a lawyer who deals with elder care. They help you get everything where it needs to be.
“And then they also have funds; that’s why we do the walk,” she continued. “They have funds that my mother has been able to get some help. She can now have somebody come sit with my dad when she has to go to a doctor’s appointment or go do something … so he’s not there by himself.’
Thacker said her father cannot walk by himself and has to use a walker or wheelchair; he also falls a lot, making it difficult to go out of the house.
“Mom knows the EMT from three minutes down the road by his first name,” Thacker said. “He listens to his radio.”
She added her dad’s short-term memory is gone, but his long-term memory is intact. It’s difficult for him to remember a conversation walking from the kitchen and back. His memory is gone quickly, but presently, he still remembers family members.
During the last two years, Thacker’s team has been one of the top fundraisers for the Sedalia Walk to End Alzheimer’s. Last year, her team raised $1,275. This year, her goal is $1,000.
“It’s such a hidden gem that people don’t utilize, that people don’t know about,” she said of the Alzheimer’s Association.
Her advice for those with a loved one diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s is to contact the Alzheimer’s Association.
“There are local ones all over,” she noted. “Don’t be in denial — it’s not going to get better. And there are things you just have to get into place.
“And if I was talking to the person that was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s … I would say, ‘you need to think about your loved ones, your spouse who’s going to be left to handle everything,’” she added.
The Sedalia Walk to End Alzheimer’s is at 10 a.m. Saturday, Sept. 16 at Centennial Park, 1400 E. 16th St. in Sedalia. To sign up for the walk or for more information, visit www.alz.org.
Faith Bemiss can be reached at 660-530-0289 or on Twitter @flbemiss.
